(via ageros)
Manage me, I'm a mess.
(Source: onecoldjanuary, via allmymetaphors)
I won’t let go until after this weekend.
I just can’t.
(Source: -theperfectmistake, via especiallygold)
Everything hurts now that you’re gone again.
Waiting a week to see you is hard. It’s as hard as I knew it would be, but that doesn’t make it any better.
Now that I’ve lost my distractions for making the time go by, I’m left with the deafening silence and emptiness of being alone, waiting for you.
I can’t wait to see you again, and I don’t want you to leave this time. It hurts me too much. But we both know I can’t stop you from leaving again.
Everyone always leaves.
I did it. I found the courage.
It’s been almost six months since I’ve seen or talked to you face to face, but I had to by the end of the night. I would have regretted my whole night if I hadn’t. I had my friend tell you I was here while I stood back a little bit off in the shadows, and watched as your face lit up in surprise as you scanned your surroundings. It was a good surprise though as you didn’t quite believe her until you saw my face, and I had to will my feet to move toward you as you said “Where is she?”
The hug I got from you was tentative and sweet, as though you and I both knew that we’ve drifted apart after everything the past several months. The smile on your face was hopeful and the way you stared into me as we spoke made my heart calm, that familiar feeling of home washing over me as we talked.
It hurt to walk away after only a few minutes, but we made plans for next weekend with what little time we had together before it grew too late, and I’ll bite my lip in anxious anticipation, wondering in the back of my mind what that will mean.
I can’t wait to see you again. Maybe we can start over next weekend and do things right this time. Here’s to being an eternal optimist with a hopeful heart.
I saw you. I didn’t go say hi, and I don’t think you even saw me. I turned around and more or less hid in the corner trying not to make eye contact. I’ve dyed my hair since you last saw me, but not enough to not know its me. I chose to let you be for the moment, but when I gain the courage to say something later tonight, you’ll know. The sound of your voice takes my breath away, even after all this time. Just knowing you’re here makes my heart race.
I wish it wasn’t difficult to be here. I love you too much, and don’t know what to do.
Looking at the calendar, the day I’ve been waiting for is so close, yet still so far away. Only a few days left, but these next few days will be a whirlwind of emotion.
I can almost feel it, almost taste it, can’t sleep. I’m at a loss of breath and a loss of words. My heart becomes a punching bag every single time I see you, am around you, breathe you in, or even hear your voice again, yet, somehow, I still deem you worth all of the unnecessary hurt and pain and brokenness associated with the after-effects of you.
I’m so anxious and nervous, so much has changed between us since I saw you last. That brings an unsettling to my insides, making my toes curl in anxious anticipation from not knowing how I’ll feel when I finally see you face to face again.
These past few months I’ve tried to keep things to myself, keeping you farther than arm’s length, and that’s been an unsettling experience for me.
I don’t want to keep you so far away. I wish you were here always. I wish you wished you were here as well.
“There” doesn’t know how special it is to have you.
someday you and i will travel together. we’ll board the plane with our luggage, a smile, and the goal of being as adventurous as we can once we reach our destination. you’ll let me rest my head on your shoulder when i feel tired and you’ll read a book or the newspaper. you’ll order me a diet coke if the flight attendant comes by while i’m sleeping and i’ll rub your back if you end up being the one that sleeps.
(Source: rudeteen, via -momentsbetweensleep)
Dear Future Love,
I should just stop caring for you so much. I think about you constantly but if you’d like to replace me… Well I understand. Ive never been worth the fight before, so why now? Just know, you’re beautiful and kind and your smile makes my heart race and all i really want is to hold you in my arms until you toss me away. I’d hold you until the fuckin world ends if you’d let me.
I hope you understand this, I hope you see where I’m coming from, I hope, even though you don’t want a relationship, that you see I’ll treat you just like we are. I’m committed to you, promise.
And I know I’m awkward and I say weird things or nothing at all but I hope you see how much every action is for you, ever thing I say or do has you in mind. You are important, you matter to me, and I want only what makes you happy. If that is me or not, well that’s up to you darling.
I’m going to try for sleep now. Goodnight beautiful.
Love,
Me
This is exactly how I feel about you.
